Sadly, this is a question that many Christians will have to have wrestle with sooner or later. Whether it involves a family relation or friend or coworker, there are no easy options for someone who wants to be faithful to God and His Word and loving toward his neighbor.
Christians know that same-sex “marriage”
is sin. It is a clear and blatant
rebellion against God (1 Cor. 6:9-10; 1 Tim. 1:9-11; Rom. 1:24ff). It rejects His work as the One who created us
male and female (Matt. 19:4-6). And in so doing
it corrupts and undermines faith in His work as our Redeemer. For it is the Man Jesus who laid down His
life for His elect Lady, the Church (Eph. 5:25ff). God is a husband to His chosen people, His
Bride (Is. 54:5). The fact that we are
created male and female is a reflection of the nature and the ways of this God
who is love (1 John 4). Same-sex
marriage, then, is not only the breaking of a commandment, it’s a denial and an
overturning of God’s order of creation and redemption.
Part of the struggle we have is that
we falsely pit faithfulness to God and love for others against each other, when
in fact they are two sides of the same coin.
The best way that we can love others is by holding faithfully to God’s
Word and confessing its truth clearly and compassionately, speaking the truth
in love (Eph. 4:15). For God’s Word of
Law and Gospel gives eternal life (John 6:68).
It works repentance and the forgiveness of sins (Luke 24:46-47). It brings true peace (John 14:27). Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will pass away,
but My words will by no means pass away” (Luke 21:33). To set aside God’s Word in the name of love or
for the sake of some supposed future greater good is a delusion. Real love cares for a person’s salvation and
never condones sin which brings death to a person’s soul (Ezek. 18:20).
What is loving is to grieve with
parents who are having to deal with a child who has openly departed from the
faith in this way. What is loving is to
encourage them to continue to look to God for help in prayer and to trust His
Word for guidance and comfort. And when
the people involved willingly embrace sin or approve of sin, what is loving is to
call them to repentance. What is loving is
to point people to Christ who died for all sins and who desires that we turn
from our evil way and live by His mercy and forgiveness (Ezek. 18:23).
The truth is that the reason some Christians
might feel compelled to attend a same-sex “wedding” is because we don’t want to
let go of our favorite idols. For some
the idol might be money. A job or a
business relationship might be at stake.
To such people Jesus says, “You cannot serve God and mammon” (Luke16:13). “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one
who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much” (Luke 16:10). Others simply want to be thought of well by
the world and not looked at as the bad guy.
To them Jesus says, “You are those who justify yourselves before men,
but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in
the sight of God” (Luke 16:15; see also Galatians 1:10 about seeking favor from
men or from God). Or still others want
to keep peace in the family rather than to act according to the truth. But to those who bow down to the idol of
family, Jesus says, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy
of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me”
(Matt. 10:37). Even harsher are the
preceding words, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come
to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a
daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those
of his own household” (Matt. 10:34-36).
Our media-saturated lives have desensitized us to
the grave spiritual seriousness of this matter.
We’ve forgotten what was common sense only a couple decades ago. So consider this: Would we think seriously about attending a
wedding where not just two people were getting married but three or four people
were entering into a sexual union among themselves? (Yes, this is happening now.) Would we want to be supportive of their
choices even though we disagreed with them?
I mean, #lovewins right? Would it
really help the family to show up at a ceremony that condoned that? How, then, is a same-sex wedding any
different? Both reject and corrupt what
God Himself has given and created in marriage on a fundamental level.
Some try to suggest that Jesus would
go to a same-sex “wedding” since He spent time talking with and even eating
with sinners. There is no doubt that
what Jesus did raised some eyebrows. But
what was He doing in those encounters?
He was calling people to turn from their sin to the freely given mercy
of God. “I have not come to
call the righteous but sinners to repentance” (Luke 5:27-32). Jesus came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10), never to condone sin (Matt. 5:17-19).
No one is suggesting that we should cut off all contact with unbelievers
or those engaged in sinful lifestyles.
For then we would have to leave the world (1 Cor. 5:9-10). God places us into our various vocations precisely
so that we might show love to our neighbor in both word and deed. Those relationships provide the opportunity
to confess our faith in Christ the Savior.
But it is supremely dishonest to think that by attending a same-sex “wedding” you can do as Jesus did. Do you
seriously think you’ll be able to call people to repentance in that venue where
sin is being celebrated and the words of Jesus are explicitly being rejected?
At a wedding you are obliged to congratulate the
couple, to smile politely and happily at what is going on, to laugh at the
jokes. Being present means joining in
the celebration, affirming the goodness or at least the acceptability of the
union. Under what circumstances can a
Christian justify doing that? Plus, when
the people involved are ones we naturally care for and are close to, there is a
very real possibility of being tempted to compromise the truth and to be drawn
away from God’s Word ourselves. After
all, weddings are nice and positive and fun.
And there you are feeling like a wet blanket. Being present at such events and witnessing
the counter-preaching of the world can make you question the Scriptures. The very nature of the event whispers to you,
“Did God really say…?” (Gen. 3:1).
In the end there is simply no way in
good conscience that a Christian can attend a same sex “wedding.” For there is no realistic scenario where
doing so does not lend aid and support to sin and rebellion against God. There really is no middle ground on this
one. Jesus Himself said “Whoever is not
with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters” (Matt.12:30).
This is a defining issue of our times. Let us take our place with Christ, even in
the face of worldly scorn. For He took
His place with us, even unto death. He
is our Immanuel, God with us, God who is for us to rescue us sinners that we
may share in His resurrection life forever.